There’s always something on my mind. A question about life, an idea or a decision that is due. Lots of thoughts come with it. They are blurry, and they often confuse me.
Writing things down, like I do right now, helps me seeing what’s beyond the clouds in my head. It forces me to articulate my thoughts for someone to follow. I wasn’t aware of this but to me it actually matters who that someone is, that I am explaining things to when writing. From school, university and business my brain is trained to write for other people. Ideally I come across smart and have great convincing arguments. That’s when writing gets tough for me. Even in this moment I can observe myself how I am imagining someone reading this text and wondering whether they may like it or not.
It’s a trap!
But I found a better way to write. Now I write for myself. With good arguments I want to convince myself, not others. What I get is clarity. And what I loose is the fear of being judged by the reader. I mean, I did not write this to change anyone’s opinion. They are free to love it or hate it.
Why I published this text then, someone reading this might ask. Good question! Maybe I tricked myself into this “writing for myself” thing, only to impress others in the end. While I can never be 100% sure about my motives, I know that writing will only benefit me once I’m able to stop fooling myself by seeking external validation.
The reason I don’t keep these diary entries for myself is that I like the idea someone like-minded could possibly find it and relate to it. It’d be beautiful if that person could share their own perspective with me, so we can learn from each other.